Nohad Sleiman Blog

Twins

Nohad Sleiman — Sat, 07 May 2011 18:09:51 +0000

Ricky has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him. Mick says, “How you doin?” “Ricky says, “Okay, but do me a favor mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, my feet are freezing.” Mick goes upstairs and sees Ricky’s gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed naked. He says, “Your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you.” They say, “Prove it.” Mick shouts downstairs, “Ricky, both of them?” Ricky shouts back, “Of course both of em, What’s the point of fuckin one!

Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

Nohad Sleiman — Thu, 05 May 2011 13:25:50 +0000

Topic 1
Silence, The Final Frontier: Where no women has gone before.

Topic 2
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making deposits

Topic 3
Parties: Going without new outfits

Topic 4
Bathroom Etiquette: Men need space in bathroom cabinet too

Topic 5
Communication Skills: Tears – The last resort, not the first

Topic 6
Communication Skills II: Getting what you want without nagging

Topic 7
Driving a Car Safely: A skill you CAN acquire

Topic 8
Introduction to Parking: The Last Episode

Topic 9
Introduction to Parking (Advanced): Reversing Skills

Topic 10
Telephone Skills: How to hang up

Topic 11
Classic Footwear: Wearing shoes you already have

Topic 12
Oil & Petrol: Your car needs both

Missing you

Nohad Sleiman — Wed, 04 May 2011 16:11:08 +0000

A husband’s throwing darts at his wife’s photo and not a single one is hitting the target.

From another room wife asks the husband ”honey what are you doing?’

‘Husband ”MISSING U”!!

MEA

Nohad Sleiman — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 16:40:24 +0000

خبر عاجل : استطاعت طائرة تابعة للميدل إست ان تزمط بين الملبوسات الداخلية المنشورة على حبل الغسيل بالأوزاعي و تهبط بعون الله على سطح البناية… حيث قام رئيس لجنة البناية بختم جوازات السفر ….. أما الناطور فقام بنقل حقائب المسافرين

Women and men

Nohad Sleiman — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 07:12:07 +0000

“It is said that if girls close eyes, they see the person they love the most & when men do that- ” Slide Show begins….”=))

Prova

Nohad Sleiman — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:19:23 +0000

محشش صاعد طيارة… ركب جنبو عازف جيتار.

بعد ماطارو صار العازف يعزف على الجيتار انزعج المحشش قلو يكفينا يازلمة خلينة مروقين بالجو..

سكت شوي ورجع مرة ثانية يعزف قام عليه وقلو بيكفي وصار يسب ويشتم على العازف هون اجت المضيفة قالتلو هاد عازف وعندو حفلة اول ما ينزل من الطيارة وهلق عم يعمل بروفة … سكت المحشش …

بعد شوي رجع يعزف العارف على الجيتار وصارت هيصة بالطيارة اجت المضيفة وشافت المحشش عم يلعب بتبعو
قالتلو شو عم تعمل؟؟!

قال أنا كمان عندي بروفة… أول ما انزل من الطيارة رح أنيك اختو =))

Opposite of laughing

Nohad Sleiman — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:18:13 +0000

A teacher asks a student: what is the opposite of laughing?The student said: fucking!

The teacher: shame on you! How is that?

The student: Laughing is hahaha, fucking is AH AH AH =D :p :/

LORD, THEY’RE FINALLY TOGETHER

Nohad Sleiman — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:01:09 +0000

A couple married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married
again and had 7 more children. Her second husband died. She married
again and had 5 more children. Her third husband died. And, alas, she
finally died, too.


At her funeral and standing by her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He
thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re
finally together.”


One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think
he means her first, second or third husband?”



The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

Possibly the best blond joke ever…

Nohad Sleiman — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 06:39:21 +0000

A plane is on its way to Cape Town when a blonde in Economy Class gets
up and moves to the First Class and sits down. The flight attendant
watches her do this and asks to see her ticket She then tells the
blonde passenger that she’s paid for Economy and that she will have to
go and sit in the back The blonde replies “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful,
I’m going to Cape town and I’m staying right here!”
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and
co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that
belongs in Economy and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because
she only paid for economy she is only entitled to an economy seat and
she will have to leave and return to her original seat. The blonde
replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Cape town and I’m
staying right here!”
Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that
he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest
this blonde woman that won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married
to a blonde and I speak blonde!”

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says “Oh, I’m
sorry- I had no idea,” gets up and moves back to her seat in the
economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he
said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied “I told her First Class isn’t going to Cape Town”

Fucked Twice

Nohad Sleiman — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 15:49:38 +0000

A very VERY ugly woman walks into a shop with her two sons.
A man asks her, “are they twins?”

Puzzled the woman replies, “no.. one is 3 years old and the other is
10.
why R u asking?”

The man replies: “no particular reason, I just can’t believe someone
fucked u twice”.