Living in 2006

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice that there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Phone Call

(((RING))))
 

**Pick Up**

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

 

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"

 

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an

Uncle Paul "

 

 

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

 

Brief Pause

 

"Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down

on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout

to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"

 

"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

 

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

 

"I did it Daddy"

 

"And what happened honey?" he asked

 

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on

and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her

head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

 

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

 

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared

and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.

But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to

clean it. he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

 

 

 

***Long Pause***

 

 

 

 

 

***Longer Pause**

 

 

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??… Is this 486-5731?"

01:02:03 04/05/06

on Wednesday, 4th May, 2006 , at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 AM in the morning, the time and date will be

01:02:03 04/05/06

this will never happen again in your life time.

Prime Minister Mori and Bill Clinton!

True Story – Funny

this is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton…

The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton should say," I'm fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is….When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" instead of "How are you". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I'm Hilary's husband, ha-ha…."   Then Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room

digging your Nose

Son (S): Why is making love so enjoyable?
Father (F): It is just like the sensation when you are digging your Nose
with your finger!!

S: Why do women enjoy it more than men?
F: It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort
than your finger.
S: Why do women hate it when they get raped?
F: It is like when you are walking on the street, someone else comes
over and digs your nose, do you like it??
S: Why can a woman make love on particular days?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it??
S: Why do men not like to wear condoms when they are making love?
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
S: Why is making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig your nose in front of your class? Stupid!
S: WAAO . . Father you are GREAT