Beer and Women!

The holy Land

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to
Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife suddenly passed away.The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000; or you can bury her here, in the
Holy Land, for only $150."The man thought about it deeply, and told him he has decided to get her body shipped home.The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here in the holy land & pay only $150?"The man replied, "Many many years ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.…I just can't take that chance."

Trainee joined a big Multi National Company

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're
talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.  "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,
you IDIOT?"
No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

Pedro And Maria

Pedro and Maria got married. Pedro was a “man about town” so to
speak, but Maria was very naive and uninformed about the birds and
the bees. Pedro was a poor working man and could not afford to take
time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little
shack.
When Pedro was undressing Maria said, “Oh Pedro, what is that?”
Pedro, being very quick thinking, said, “Maria, I am the only man
in the world with one of these.” And, then, he proceeded to show
her what it was for, and Maria was happy.
The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned
home that evening, Maria was on the front porch obviously upset
about something. “Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in
the world with one of those, and I saw Gonzalez the gardener
changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too.”
Thinking fast, Pedro said, “Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best
friend. I had two of them so I gave him one . He is the only other
man in the world with one of those.”
Maria being very stupid accepted his answer and they did their
thing again that night. Pedro went off to work the next morning;
and, when he returned home, Maria was very upset, stamping her foot
on the porch. Pedro said, “Maria, what is the matter now?”
“Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!”