Software Engineer!

A guy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The guy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the guy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The guy said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Moon and Florida

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do
you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

Update on Bird Flu

It is recommended to check authenticity of this message,

if you have time and means….Regards,

 

 

From the desk of Dr.  Pushkar Kulkarni:

Hi everyone,
 
First of all, I would like to tell every one that bird flu is nothing
 but a money generating gimmick of certain companies/politicians. 
 
So far only 55 people have died of the so-called bird flu (7,000 died by
lighting last year alone) so are we having a lighting epidemic, rubbish?
 
 
These deaths were due to Respiratory symptoms, but not confirmed for
H5N1. How many people handling birds have died because of diarrhea?

Must  be more than 55 in the last few years; then we can say we are in a
Salmonella epidemic???
 
Next, who stand to gain by all this? 
Roche, by selling -Tamiflu. 
 
Who has the patent for Tamiflu? 
A lesser known company named Gilead.
 
Who is the major shareholder of this company? Can anybody guess? 
 
Donald H. Rumsfeld. He was chairman of the Board of Gilead Sciences,
 where he remained until early 2001 when he became defense secretary in
 Bush's Cabinet. 
 
The model suggests the parallel to the brazen corruption of Halliburton
 Corporation who's former CEO is Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney's
 company has so far gotten billions worth of US construction contracts in
 Iraq and elsewhere.
 
Who else stands to benefit? 
 
Bush campaign funders, Bilderberger spokesman Etienne F. Davignon and
 Reagan-Bush former secretary of state George P. Shultz, both of who are
 also on the board of directors of Gilead. Another member of the Bush
 circle is Lodewijk J.R. deVink, who sits on the board of Hoffman-La
 Roche, Gilead's partner.
 
In other words, bird flu will generate outrageous profits for insiders
 like Shultz, Rumsfled, Davignon and deVink.
 
By the way, what is Tamiflu (Generic name: Oseltamivir Phosphate)? 
 
It's an extract from Star Aniseed (our very own Garam Masala) and each
dose is $100; so even if 15% of the world has one dose – then the total
sale will be just $100 billion.
 
Since last year media started this "Tamasha" by highlighting the news
from other countries. Our Poultry Industry suffered losses due to those
rumors during that year and now millions of farmers will loose their
jobs & be bankrupt but only a few people will make money.  ( Remember
Y2K ! )
 
I know it is going to be late & millions are going to loose their
livelihood in India; Chicken is being sold at Rs. 4/kg in some places. 
 
Think of the state of the Farmer & unlike other countries he is not
 going to be compensated (only farmers in Navapur, Nandurbar are being
 compensated).
 
So, it my sincere request to all of you that spread this information to
 everyone.
 
Buy, cook and eat poultry products (chicken & egg) without hesitation
 and try to save the livelihood of millions of poultry farmers in India. 
 
** Remember that anything cooked over 70 degrees is safe **
 
Please forward this to all those you know. 
 
Those who need more information are welcome to contact me.
 
Regards,
 
*Dr. Pushkar Kulkarni*
 Bachelor of Veterinary Science & Animal Husbandry
 Bombay Veterinary College
 M. Sc. in Toxicology
 Contact: India (Res.): +91 251 248 9216

PS. its not me who wrote this article, just an email i received couple of days ago! 

PSYCHO TEST

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.  This is not a trick question.  It is as it reads.    A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know.  She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that!  She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later, she killed her sister.  Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer).  SCROLL DOWN.
 
.

 
.
 
.
 
 
 
 
 
 
.
 
 
.
 
 
.
 
 
Answer:  She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. 
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.  Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.  If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.  If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.  Be sure to share the test.

Three Feelings

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.