Phone Call

(((RING))))
 

**Pick Up**

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

 

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"

 

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an

Uncle Paul "

 

 

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

 

Brief Pause

 

"Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down

on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout

to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"

 

"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

 

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

 

"I did it Daddy"

 

"And what happened honey?" he asked

 

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on

and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her

head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

 

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

 

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared

and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.

But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to

clean it. he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

 

 

 

***Long Pause***

 

 

 

 

 

***Longer Pause**

 

 

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??… Is this 486-5731?"

01:02:03 04/05/06

on Wednesday, 4th May, 2006 , at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 AM in the morning, the time and date will be

01:02:03 04/05/06

this will never happen again in your life time.

Idiots!!

George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.

He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?

Are there any tips you can give me?”

Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround

yourself with intelligent people.”

Bush frowns, “But how do I know the people around me are really

intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea.

Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send The Prime

Minister in here, would you?”

Tony Blair walks into the room. “Your Majesty….”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father

have a child.

It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, “That would be me!”

Yes! Very good!” says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney..

Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.

It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

I’m not sure,” says the vice president. “Let me get back to you on that

one.”

Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give

him an answer.

Finally, he ends up in the men’s room and recognizes Colin Powell’s

shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, “Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father

have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Colin Powell yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!” Dick Cheney smiles.

Thanks!”

Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.

Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s

Colin Powell.”

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his

face,

“No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

Prime Minister Mori and Bill Clinton!

True Story – Funny

this is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton…

The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton should say," I'm fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is….When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" instead of "How are you". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I'm Hilary's husband, ha-ha…."   Then Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room

digging your Nose

Son (S): Why is making love so enjoyable?
Father (F): It is just like the sensation when you are digging your Nose
with your finger!!

S: Why do women enjoy it more than men?
F: It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort
than your finger.
S: Why do women hate it when they get raped?
F: It is like when you are walking on the street, someone else comes
over and digs your nose, do you like it??
S: Why can a woman make love on particular days?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it??
S: Why do men not like to wear condoms when they are making love?
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
S: Why is making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig your nose in front of your class? Stupid!
S: WAAO . . Father you are GREAT